Delco Does it Dirty- Buckhead Style

Story Involves- Studly Men and the Females that are lucky enough to be in our company
February 13th, 2010

I'd like to start this blog off by personally apologizing for the gap in my blog entries. I took the holiday season off for obvious reasons and have kind of slacked off since then. Well, lets not waste any time and get the story going.



So the day started off like any normal Saturday, mother yelling for me to wake up with a "get off your lazy ass and get something done!"...So with this command I awoke, had my sister drive me to my car since I was far too drunk to drive the previous evening. Upon arrival I realized I had M. Jow's keys in my pocket therefore feeling a truck ride was in order. I climbed in his truck and decided to go pick him up. As I drove I cranked up the tunes, cracked the windows (due to the urge to vomit) and spun tires in every ice path I could find. After picking him up, we went back to the bar for a "quick bite" to eat. Upon arrival we ordered 20 hot wings and a couple beers. An hour and a half later I realized I was getting too drunk to do anything productive and went to pick my mother up. From there we went and did countless amounts of food shopping, this was very unsettling. After unloading the car Mezzy called me and I went to his house. Himself, his father, and White Thunder all came to bar and played our billiards over some cocktails.
After playing and drinking for a couple hours I realized it was time to go home and prepare both mentally and physically for the nights festivities. Upon arrival I decided to lay down and rest up before the 830pm departure. However, due to my lazy ways I was late and responsible for holding the bus up. I did not get there until about 840-845, fashionably late. I walked on the bus with my shirt on one shoulder and the belt on the other with a case of Bud Light already opened and in hand. I thanked the blonde bombshell for holding the bus for me when she replied it wouldn't be a birthday bus without me (an obvious ego boost that I did not need). I picked a seat near my drunk friend Mocha and the festivities began. I started on my case, passing the cold beverages out to my friends in need and placed the luscious mango vodka to my lips. As we rode down i95 I tried to offer the idea of Show N Tel but the idea didn't really take off. Before I knew it, booze had been depleted and the bus had arrived.
We all stood in line so that some jerkoff could grill, bend, and try to find a reason not to let Storm Delco in the doors. Our hopes of a good night were high yet the temperature was low and I did not have my jacket with me. I offered him a blowjob via one of our slampigs that we had brought with us. The man laughed a little and offered to let her pay no cover for the oral sex. Now do the math, she blows his dick and she saves $5, little did he know it would cost him another $30. Once inside I cased the joint: best bartender, strongest pourer, hottie hangout, spot where one can rest a drink while getting the grind on with females. While doing this I encounter a table of women that looked as if they could be related to the Klump family- BIG, black, and craving an Italian sausage. At this point I knew it was time to get started on the drink consumption. I first ordered a beer and vodka pineapple. After drinking the first extremely fast I felt that I had been shorted on the booze. At this I returned and received another mixed drink. When I came back Prendie informed me that Mocha had told everyone he was going to get more drunk than I that night (although I did not believe him) I insisted to drink like the booze were going out of style. It is safe to say that with the mixed drinks alone, I had consumed about 8 within a 15 minute period. At this point I was feeling froggy, so I began to leap, right into the crotch of the Klump women. I was not alone, I was assisted by many of my booze brothers. After cutting the rug for some time I went back to my resting area. While there I began to notice a companion of mine attempting to get a drink while trying to squeeze between the wall and a water buffalo. Assuming the situation may escalate I keep a steady (yet blurry) eye. The girl feels the need to violently push my pal so I go to intervene. She went to smack him with her hoof over me. This did not fly with me so I quickly grabbed her by the fat of her arm and stated "Chill bitch, you dont wanna fuckin go there". She looked at me with the disgust and disregard I see rather often from those who encounter me for the first time. At this her male friend walks over and threatens me to tell my friend to meet him outside to kick his ass. I calmly stated that I would do no such thing and that he should just shut up and drop it. By this time things started to get a bit heated and my tattooed friend Chooch made his way over to see if the situation needed to be handled. I told him that would not be necessary and the drinks began to flow again. More dancing, drinking, and racial talks with the African American bathroom attendant went on like normal for the rest of the night.
Things got interesting when the bar decided they would auction off 2 girls for a dinner date and the money would go towards some bullshit (I think charity). When two lovely ladies had walked on stage I felt it was my time to shine. My drunken self did not really understand how an auction works. The only time that I was outbid was when I did it to myself. At this the bidding war amongst myself ended at $130. After I realized what else I could do with that much money I decided to blend in with the crowd and let them try to find me to pay up. Around 1am I felt that the bus should be coming soon and went outside. After finding a nice pile of snow to urinate in I went back to the bus area. However, it was cold and did not want to wait inside. Several minutes after I went inside the bus arrived. As I walked out the door I noticed the yellow wagon leaving the scene. Frightened I'd have to go back inside and buy overpriced drinks I ran after the bus like the dirtbag I am. As I ran past a couple, the whore made a wise ass comment which caused me to give her back a witty response while running and making phone calls to those on the bus. With no answer and not being able to catch the bus I felt all hope was lost. As I walked back towards the bar I felt that my eyes may have been playing tricks on me, THERE WAS THE BUS ROUNDING THE CORNER! I got on and grabbed a beer for celebration.
During the ride home Pig Stack made a comment to the bus driver which was completely unnecessary and refereed to him as a douche bag (the same driver who allowed for a pit stop in order for the stoner crew to obtain a product used in smoking marijuana). I asked him to please sit down when he told me "fuck you". I then told him to stop being such an ass hole and to sit the fuck down. He then threatened to "beat me up". After I was able to stop laughing uncontrollably, I gave him a beer and told him to chill out.
We arrived back to Ridley, where I walked into the local after hours club. I walked in and was immediately greeted by the local drunks. After only being able to consume one beer in my period of time spent there, I went outside and found the case of beer I had left which I hid outside for safe keeping. Myself, along with 2-Tall and Turks, decided to go and get a cheesesteak to try and soak up some of the nights liquids. Half way down the street I started to throw up with the case still in hand. I took a few steps and began to get sick some more. When I felt that it was done and over with I opened a beer and started to rehydrate myself. After eating and finished the beer it was time to waltz home. During the walk I decided to decorate the neighborhood with a couple empty cans. When I got home I accidentally woke granny up, bore-assed her for some time, attempted to write this, and next thing I know its 8am and I have the worst cotton mouth of the month.
After getting myself together and actually showering, I went to lunch with the boys to recall the previous nights activities. Overall, the night was a success!