Fool on a Stool

Story Involves- Usual Suspects
December 4th, 2009

So this story start off like any other but ends rather unique. I got done work at 7pm, went home, got dressed, and I was off. Myself, Papa Smurf, Big Bob, Chooch, and Drunk Ass Slow all gathered together and headed to the local evening special, which ended in White Thunder allegedly sleeping in his stool at the end of his night. Once we arrived we met up with a couple of our (.)(.)licious friends and it was time to get after it. Instead of mingling with the local trash and scum-bags we secluded ourselves to the VIP bar with my girl Big Red. Now it was time, opening the night with a round I knew it was only a matter of time until the guys were on my ass to buy shots. I explained to them that tonight was to be a chill evening and shots could maybe come into play later on in the evening. After several strongly made Cirque and cranberries, fine women, and a few mozzarella half-moons- it was time for shots. At this point more people had shown and the shot tab was getting bigger, I decided we should all do our shots before more drunkards which I call friends arrived. I told Big Red I would like to order about 12 "White Thunders" when she had a chance (I was trying to be nice for she seemed to be in an unhappy mood that evening). Once made, we raised our glasses, tilted our heads, and sparked the fire for the evening. After several more drinks, a couple beers, and obviously more shots the special was over. The guys I arrived with were ready to leave and I was not yet ready. So I made arrangements to leave with Munchkin and told the fella's I'd hit them up in a bit. After doing some shots with the DJ, Munchkin began to get angry with me for not being ready to leave. So we loaded up her car and stop at one of the local watering holes on the way home.
This place was fucking packed and I was wayyyy too drunk to deal with the amount and type of people there. After drinking another double Kettle One and Cranberry I texted Zeus and asked him if he could scoop me from hell. Upon arrival we both decided to slam a quick drink in and fly like a bat out of hell. We pulled away and pulled our idea's for the rest of the night together.
We somehow ended up at the usually hotspot Nellys, ordered a beer, looked around and decided to get the fuck out of there. We drove down the street parked and got yelled at because the local tavern Della Polla's was pissed off we used their lot to try and go into Ricks. Instead of starting a confrontation over nothing, we loaded in the car kindly told them to fuck off and went on our way to The Mont (local underage hole in the wall). By this point I was too drunk to function, yet I was not only allowed in the building but was also served. After ordering a shot and beer I took the shot and made my way towards the back. I saw many of those who I liked, and many JUNKIES which I cannot even stand to see, which I apparently made it known. I quickly finished my bottle and realized I was now interested in quantity not quality. I walked up to the bar and ordered a pitcher of beer and one cup. Now this is where it gets really hazy. Apparently this is when I really started to mouth off and my friends tried to calm me down in fear someone would try and sneak me in my drunken state.
I then saw Mule's brother and a buddy of his I used to have an alcohol class with. I went over and started bullshitting with them which ended up with a lemon flavored shot (how I remember that I'm not exactly sure). This was the straw that broke the camels back without a doubt. After this I am told I moved a stool to the back of the bar, in the middle of the floor between the pool table and dart board and began to take a nap. I remember being asked to move because I was in the way of the dart game.
The next thing I remember is waking up on the wrong end of the basement couch in my boxers with my phone shoved deep into the couch and my wallet thrown on the table. Immediately I wondered who drove me home and hoped to God I did not get behind the wheel. After about 20min of pondering I remembered I stumbled home from the bar literally less than a block from my house.

**I apologize but no pictures were taken of White Thunder being the "Fool on a Stool"**